St. Thomas Aquinas once wrote, “To love is to will the good of the other.” Centuries earlier, St. Paul wrote a similar message to the early Christians in Corinth, saying that love “…does not seek its own interests.”

If you claim to love your husband, wife, child, or someone else in your “inner circle,” but are busy trying to make him or her more like you, that is not love. Instead, desiring the very best for that person, given his or her talents and characteristics – and not for what you can benefit from it – that is real love, according to the definitions of Paul and Aquinas.

Years ago, one of my neighbors, “Mandy,” shared that her 20-year-old daughter, “Courtney,” seemed depressed. As we got deeper into the conversation, I figured out why. Mandy was a nurse, and she often told Courtney, “You should be a nurse.” When I confronted Mandy about this, it was as if a light bulb turned on in her head. Later, she asked Courtney what she was interested in doing. Courtney said, “I love children, and I would like to run a daycare center someday.”

Mom began to support Courtney’s dream, and the depression seemed to disappear overnight. More than 15 years later, Courtney is still working with young children is looks happier than ever! It all changed when Mandy began to “will the good” of Courtney rather than to write her life’s script for her.

How can I do better at “willing the good” of the people around me, loving them simply for who they are?

Loving God, open my eyes that I may see your unconditional love for us and imitate your love more deeply. Amen.