Answer: Let me begin with a personal story. Several years ago, I was at a youth rally, surrounded by dozens of priests hearing confessions. When I finished with my line of young penitents, I noticed another priest sitting without anyone waiting. I approached him and asked, “Father, do you have time for a quick confession?” He replied, “No, Father, but I have time to hear a good and complete confession.”

That gentle correction was exactly what I needed. Even though I went to confession regularly and heard many confessions myself, I had grown casual. I was going through the motions, rattling off my sins, looking for what felt like a quick infusion of grace. His words reminded me that this sacrament deserves intention and reverence. Confession is never entirely easy. It takes humility to open our hearts and name our sins aloud. But humility is where healing begins.

The Sacrament of Penance invites meaningful preparation, and good preparation helps calm the nervousness—especially if it has been a while. A few practical steps can make a great difference.

First, be intentional. Choose a regular time for confession—perhaps once a month—and put it on your calendar. Do not leave it to chance. If your parish offers limited times, consider another nearby parish with a schedule that works for you. Many people find that once or twice a month is a healthy rhythm.

Second, prepare your heart. The proper disposition for confession is humble contrition and a sincere purpose of amendment. One of the best ways to cultivate this is through a daily examination of conscience. Take a few quiet minutes at the end of the day to reflect: Where did I respond generously to grace? Where did I fall short? This simple habit helps you notice patterns, identify habits that lead to temptation, and distinguish between mortal and venial sins without minimizing or exaggerating them. If you are not accustomed to a daily examination, spend at least a few days preparing thoughtfully before you go.

It helps to be familiar with the simple structure of confession. When you enter, begin: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [approximate time] since my last confession.” If helpful, briefly mention your state in life. Then state your sins plainly and simply—without lengthy explanations or excuses. Place the more serious sins first so you do not avoid them out of fear. When you have finished, say so and listen attentively to the priest’s counsel and the penance he assigns. The penance is medicinal; it helps heal the effects of sin.

Be ready to pray an Act of Contrition, either from memory or from a card. Finally, receive absolution with faith. The words spoken are Christ’s own words of mercy. You are truly forgiven and restored.

If you feel nervous, that is normal. Let that nervousness be part of your offering to God. Confession is not about embarrassment; it is about freedom. Lent is a beautiful time to come home to the mercy that always awaits us in the sacrament.

For more information about the Sacrament of Confession, click here.

For information about parish penance services this Lent, click here.