His first child had been born. He had to wait three more hours to meet the baby.

The first time he held her, “I just broke down crying,” James said.

He had always wanted to be a dad.

“I didn’t care if it was through adoption. I don’t care that she doesn’t look like me and that she doesn’t have my genes,” he said. “She’s my daughter.”

Discovering Catholic Charities Adoption Services

James, 35, met his wife, Aida Lazaros, 34, while both were in college in Boston in 2010.

On their first date, Aida was upfront with him.

“If he was not on board with adoption, we could be friends, but we couldn’t be anything else,” she said.

She had known since age 13 that having biological children was improbable for her. She also knew “the right guy wasn’t going to hesitate,” she said.

And James didn’t.

They got married on January 25, 2014, and eventually started pursuing adoption.

First, they tried to adopt through foster care. However, a year after a match with a 15-year-old didn’t work out, the Lakeland couple stumbled upon Catholic Charities Adoption Services in the Diocese of Saint Petersburg.

They appreciated that Catholic Charities was “birth mom-centric,” James said. So, they got on the waiting list.

What Happens While Couples Are Waiting

“We have a waiting list for a waiting list,” said Laura Ramos, local director of Free Medical Clinics and Pregnancy and Adoption Services for Catholic Charities.

Catholic Charities primarily works with pregnant clients who’ve decided in advance not to raise their babies and can also find parents for Safe Haven newborns, babies who have been legally surrendered according to Florida Safe Haven laws.

When that happens, “you don’t have to call [the Department of Children and Families],” Ramos said. “You want your child to go to a loving home, not through the system.”

Catholic Charities otherwise accompanies birth moms throughout their pregnancies.

“We make sure they’re going to the doctor, seeing specialists, getting counseling if they want it,” Ramos said. They ensure that birth moms have housing and food and that “they are physically and emotionally prepared for this. And if they choose to parent at the end of the day, we’re with them then to offer them the services of our pregnancy centers.”

The agency also educates prospective adoptive parents while they wait for a baby. For couples who want to adopt, the process involves biopsychosocial assessments and home studies, which determine whether they’re ready.

People on the waiting list to become parents are free to provide parameters — some want a baby with no disease or a birth mom with no drug use, Ramos said.

But “our birth mothers see that as a red flag,” she said.

Some birth mothers “simply think someone else can give their child a better life,” Ramos said, including single mothers, college students, or women in the military.

Others are sex workers, or they have substance use or other mental health issues, financial or emotional challenges, or no support system, for example.

The babies “never come from the most ideal world,” Ramos said, and if people eager to adopt require otherwise, they’re probably not prepared to parent yet.

The parents who are ready are “opening their home understanding that this is not going to be a fairy tale,” Ramos said. “It will require faith; it will require God.”

It also requires couples to wait until a birth mom chooses them for her child.

James and Aida were clear with Catholic Charities from the start — they had no parameters and were open to being chosen by a birth mother regardless of her background. They trusted God’s plan and believed He would match them with the child they were meant to parent, Aida said.

An Invaluable Choice

When a birth mom finds out she’s pregnant, she already knows the culture around her offers her abortion, Ramos said.

But “there is another option. You can carry your child. Of course you can,” Ramos says. “We empower these women to look into the option of adoption.”

Catholic Charities allows birth moms to take charge, Ramos said — they get to pick the people who will parent their children.

Birth moms “are choosing to go through this pregnancy, to have all of those hormones in their bodies, to have the loss,” Ramos said.

The least the agency can do, she said, is offer a birth mom the peace that comes with knowing her baby “will be cared for and loved by someone she chose.”

Many of the adoptions are open, which Catholic Charities encourages, Ramos said, because studies show involving birth moms and ensuring the kids know they are adopted is better for the children.

“Your child should know from day one that he has been adopted, that he was chosen, that his mother loved him so much that she decided to give him the best opportunities in life that she could not give,” Ramos said.

Some birth moms want to meet the couple they chose before the baby is born. Others invite the couple to be present at the baby’s birth.

Because of COVID protocols, James couldn’t be in the room when his daughter was born. But Aida, his wife, could.

The Greatest Gift

The day their daughter, Noelle, was born, Aida was invited by the birth mother to be in the delivery room with her, and the birth mother encouraged Aida to cut Noelle’s umbilical cord.

In the winter of 2024, the Lazaros family welcomed their second child, a son, Noah, after a second birth mom chose them through Catholic Charities. Both James and Aida were invited by the birth mother to be in the delivery room for their son’s birth.

One of the hardest days of a birth mom’s life is one of an adoptive parent’s most joy-filled, James said.

Both of the Lazaros family’s children’s adoptions are open, and they are in communication with both birth mothers throughout the year. Their children will always know they are adopted and that they were loved by both their birth mothers and their adoptive parents from day one, Aida said.

Her children’s birth moms “chose love over anything else.”

Because of that, she and James can choose love, too.

“There’s no doubt in my mind that these are my children,” James said. “They were meant to be in my home, and I’m meant to love them.”

“There’s no doubt in my mind that these are my children. They were meant to be in my home, and I’m meant to love them.”

The Adoption Option

Adoption is a loving option for birth mothers, birth parents, and their child.

Catholic Charities Diocese of St. Petersburg Adoption Services is a licensed nonprofit adoption agency supporting birth parents in their journey.

Many women facing an unexpected pregnancy may not be ready or able to parent but want what is best for themselves and their child. It is a courageous decision to carry and nurture a child and to make an adoption plan for them. Adoption today puts the birth mother/birth parents in control; they choose the type of adoption plan (open, closed, semi-open), and they can choose the parents they feel will love and care for their child in the manner they feel is best.

Every year, thousands of women make the adoption decision, primarily because they love their child and want them to have a life filled with both love and opportunity.

In addition to adoption services, Catholic Charities Diocese of St. Petersburg has pregnancy centers where women can receive a free ultrasound, mentoring, pregnancy and parenting education, and baby supplies, until they make their decision or if they decide to parent.  There is no cost, no obligation, and no pressure.

Birth mothers/birth parents will be supported no matter what they decide.

How to Help

Catholic Charities Diocese of St. Petersburg is grateful to generous donors and volunteers for their investment in the mission of serving birth mothers, adoptive parents, and adopted children.

Your monetary contribution helps provide an essential service to those seeking a loving home for their child and to complete families through adoption.

Give via text:

ccadoptfl to 44834

Give by mail:

Catholic Charities Adoption Services

6845 North Dale Mabry Hwy.

Tampa, FL 33614

Give online via this link:

ccadoptfl.org/how-to-help/donate-now/

If you are facing an unexpected pregnancy or if you would like to adopt through Catholic Charities Diocese of St. Petersburg, visit ccadoptfl.org or for 24/7 pregnancy support call 727-430-6306.

To explore adoption, call 813-631-4393.