For many, Christmas is a whirlwind of busyness, stress, and overspending. Data indicates that 36% of Americans go into debt shopping for an estimated $10.1 billion spent on unwanted gifts. It’s easy to look ahead to Christmas with anxiety. Expectations of all the things we “must do” and “must have” and our skewed vision of the perfect Christmas can spoil the purpose of the season — and fail to bring us real joy and connection with others.

I’d like to offer three ideas to refocus your mindset that have helped our family.

Focus on relationships and the real meaning of Christmas 

When you attend Mass, add five minutes of prayer time after the service to trigger a reset on your prayer life and gratitude. If attending Sunday Mass isn’t a habit, find a way to make it happen. Finding five minutes for daily prayer or listening to Spirit FM when driving helps us focus on our relationship with God and prepare for Christmas. 

Reflect on relationships with family, friends, and those with whom we need to reconcile. Who is lonely or in need? A coffee date or phone call might be a more loving touch than gifts. Family rituals and rededicating our time to the spiritual meaning of Christmas have been essential to a more meaningful Advent and Christmas. 

Choose experiences over materialism 

Don’t give your kids disappointment for Christmas, but perhaps talk about ways to replace things with experiences together. Making memories with loved ones means more than the next new gadget. As a couple or family, we might avoid the mall and take in one of the Diocese of Saint Petersburg’s pilgrimage sites and go to confession during Advent to prepare together for Christmas. 

Cut the nonessentials

I never knew why Christmas stressed my parents  — until I became one. My mom spent weeks preparing an amazing dinner for a bunch of ungrateful children (my brothers and me). 

A few years back, my wife and I asked the kids what changes would make our Christmas better. They told us they didn’t care about the traditional Christmas dinner I modeled after my mom’s. What a relief! We now spend one-third the money, one-tenth the time, and almost no stress making something simple we enjoy. 

There is so much pressure to have the perfect presents, meal, and more. Are there things that need to be cut to better allow you to enter more joyfully into Advent and Christmas? 

To enjoy Christmas, conversations about its true meaning, spending time together, avoiding excessive materialism, and cutting nonessentials have given us the time to refocus, balance spending, and appreciate the miracle that is the gift of Jesus at Christmas. 

Small changes can transform this from another busy, anxiety-producing time of the year to a focus on Christ, our families, loved ones, and those in need. Merry Christmas!